


A Case of Treason - Part 3

by GeekLibrarian



Series: A Case of Treason [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Angst, F/M, I'm Sorry, Panic Attacks, Reader Insert, Violence, there's nothing happy about this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLibrarian/pseuds/GeekLibrarian
Summary: After a lot of eavesdropping, Y/N starts to understand his last memories might not be as trustfull she thought they were.





	A Case of Treason - Part 3

**Author's Note:**

> I know this took like two years, I'm sorry. But next (and final) part is already on the works.

Under the warm embrace of the shower, you thought about everything that had happened in the last hours since you woke up.

Dean and Sam’s worried faces, the lack of pain, the lack of wounds, the lack of tears.

If you were right, and they said you were, it had been several months since that night in the barn, along with the angels, and Zacharias, and Cas…

“Castiel, angel of the Lord” you muttered to yourself, remembering his words clearly.

You thought of happier times and better days, when you two were an item, ready to die for each other in the blink of an eye. Hearts and souls over the table and all the pieces in the game. You thought of the crinkles in the corners of his eyes when he smiled at you, and the way his eyes would light up whenever you entered the room. You could still feel the touch of his hand in yours and feel the warmth of his kiss on your knuckles when you got distracted.

And still, you could not drop a single tear for him. For you.

How many times had you cried over him during the last few months? _“Well… not exactly, but yes,”_ that had been Sam’s answer about you being in a coma. That meant you were having memory loss? How many months had it been? How many times had the brothers needed to tell you what happened?

Your heart sank in your chest at this thought. _What was going on?_

\--------------

“So you’re telling me,” Dean was repeating everything over and over just to make it clear, “that we can’t break this curse.”

He was sitting in the chair nearest to the hallway, looking into the war room, you could see the top of his head.

“We can’t,” Sam said, an exasperated tone in his voice.

“But it could be broken,” Dean said.

“It could.”

“But for that we need a witch.”

“Dean…” Castiel’s voice was weary and broken and it made your heart skip a beat when your heard it.

“No, no, Cas. Please, let me finish this.” he looked at Sam “We need a witch.”

“Yes.”

“A powerful one.”

“Yes.”

“A witch that has knowledge of the ancient arts and has already worked with angelic spells.”

There was loud sigh followed by a very low “Yes.”

“Fuck it! Why can’t _you_ do it?”

“I’m not well versed enough in the mystical arts.” said Castiel.

“Dean…”

“No, Sam. I refuse. I’m not doing it. I just won’t go through with it.”

“Well, then I will,” said Sam with a defiant tone, and you could hear the sound of furniture against the floor. Dean was out of sight now. He had clearly stood up as well.

“Sam, nothing good ever comes from working with Rowena.”

“Well, I’d rather have her lurking around than to have to…” his voice broke. “Dean, I can’t face her anymore. Neither can Cas.”

There was silence in the room for a bit, but you didn’t wait for them to resume the talk, instead you went back to your bedroom and sat on the bed, thinking. After a while, you decided you were just too hungry to think and stepped out again, heading for the kitchen.

As you walked down the corridor, with shoes on this time, you realized there was a sudden stop to a conversation, and by the time you entered the war room, only Sam and Dean were there. You said nothing.

“Hey!” Sam said, pulling his sight from a book. “Good shower?”

“Long and warm, as every shower ever should be,” you answered with a smile. “I see you didn’t sleep.”

“Dean did, though…” he nodded to a couch in the library and you had to suppress a smile. You knew he was awake only moments before. They were setting this up.

“Good. Let him rest. I’ll make some dinner.”

“Y/N, you should…”

“Rest?” you crossed your arms on your chest and gave him a very meaning and pitiful look. “How long has it been since you let me do anything at all? Right now, I can tell you two are the ones that need rest.”

Sam smiled and shook his head, knowing better than to try and stop you.

“The kitchen’s all yours.” he added, leaning back on his chair and grabbing the book again “Just don’t break anything, Dean organized it yesterday”

“HA!” you exclaimed happily “Perfect chance to show him I’m finally back home!”

On the corner of your eye, you saw Dean flinch on his chair. On a regular day, he would’ve followed you up into the kitchen, begging you to let him cook, but today he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t dare let you know he was not asleep. They were hiding this curse from you, and you needed to know why.

\-----------------------------

You engaged on the personal mission of hearing everything that needed to be heard in the bunker without being discovered, and it became a reflex to walk barefoot while indoors, always hoping to catch some piece of conversation.

One day you heard the rumbles of a fight and when you got closer you realized they were still arguing about going to Rowena for some curse.

Another, you peeked at Sam’s book when he took a bathroom break, and saw he was researching mind control and implanted memories.

But then, one morning, before even the sun was fully risen on the horizon you woke up from a nightmare you couldn’t remember, all covered in sweat and panicking. Remembering about the panic attack back then, you focused on your breathing, and tried to find a noise, something steady like a clock or… was that someone crying?

The sound coming from the library distracted you and the moment of terror passed. Slow and quietly, you pulled on some pants and walked like a shadow out of your bedroom, heading for the main part of the bunker. Why would he be crying at such an hour? Maybe one of the boys had a nightmare? But what kind of nightmare could frighten any of them enough to cry?

It wasn’t any of them.

It was Castiel.

You froze in the doorway. The angel hadn’t seen you, or at least that’s what it seemed like. He was sitting on the sofa, bent over and holding his head in his hands. You had never seen him cry. You didn’t even know he actually could.

A sound coming from the kitchen caught your attention and you stepped back into the shadows of the hallway before Dean, who was now coming into the library, could see you.

“Here,” he said, laying a cup of something hot on the small table in front of the couch. “It’s one of Sam’s herb-y thingies. The package says it’s good for ‘calming nerves’”.

“I’m sorry, Dea,.” Castiel said without pulling up his head. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I barely sleep these days anyway.”

There was a pause between them, and you could tell this was not the first time Dean and Cas had had this talk.

“It’s not getting any better, is it?”

“No,” the angel said with a sigh, and finally took the cup in front of him and smelled it. “What’s even in this?” he asked.

“No friggin’ idea. I’m drinking Irish coffee, with no milk, or sugar… and minus the coffee.”

“You mean you’re drinking whiskey in a coffee mug.”

“HA. Yup! I sure am!” Dean exclaimed and put the mug up in the air and Cas, with a reluctant smile, put up his own in a sad toast.

“We’ll come around this, man,” Dean said reassuringly. “We’ll solve this as we’ve always solved everything. And she will remember.”

“I don’t care about that anymore, Dean. I just want her to live normally. I’m not sure she’ll be able to remember or forgive me… But I can’t stand seeing her in pain anymore.”

Your heart broke in a million pieces. The tears you had thought were gone for good had came back and were refusing to stay inside your eyes.

As quietly as you could, you ran back to your bedroom, and crying your heart out you fell asleep again.

 

_“Y/N, they’ve found us! Get out of here!” Castiel shouted back at you, drawing his angel blade and making himself ready to fight._

_“I’m not going anywhere without you, Cas,” you stated as you reached for your gun, back to back with him. “You’re stuck with me.”_

_You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was smiling, so you smiled as well._

_…_

_There were too many of them. You couldn’t keep up the fight._

_…_

_“CAS!” you shouted as you saw him get beat up to the ground, but a sharp pain in the side of your head made everything go black._

_…_

_“Cas?” you whispered, trying to turn your head to peak at your back, but no one answered. “Cas, are you okay?”_

_“Y/N, be quiet. It’s Zacharias. He’s been looking for me for ages.”_

_“Wha…?” but you were cut-off by the doors to the place where you were tied-up suddenly opening. Outside the moon was being covered by clouds._

_“Castiel!” A big, bold, and disgusting looking man came in. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were murderous._

_“Zacharias…” you could see through the corner of your eye the hateful look in Castiel’s features._

_“Oh don’t give me that look! You’re the traitor in this whole case… Sleeping with the enemy!”_

_“If you lay a finger on her…” you had never heard Castiel so menacing._

_“You’ll what, Castiel? I have you under my power, and this night is just beginning.”_

_…_

_Thunder._

_You were being beat up by someone much much stronger than you. You could hear Castiel calling your name in the background._

_…_

_Lightning._

_Castiel is being tortured in front of you. You fight against the rope cutting through your skin. You need to get to him._

_…_

_Thunder._

_There’s a guy doing some kind of ritual in front of you. Castiel is tied up against a wall on the other side of the room, calling your name. He tries to smile when your eyes cross, and shouts your name again when someone hits you on the side of your head._

_…_

_Lightning._

_“Cas?” you whispered, trying to turn your head to peek at your back, but no one answered. “Cas, are you okay?”_  
_“I’m fine,” a growl came from somewhere behind your back, and your heart jumped in your chest._  
 _“Oh, thank God! Are you hurt? We need to get out of here…” There was a flash of light somewhere outside. It looked like it was raining now. Odd._  
 _“Oh, I’m fine,” he interrupted with a cold tone that didn’t sounded like him. “And I’m getting out of here…”_  
 _Out of the corner of your eye you could see him walking freely, and someone else was with him._

_…_

_Thunder._

_Castiel was still tied up against the wall opposite to you, calling you._

_…_

_Lightning._  
“So this is her, then?” a male voice asked.  
“That’s her.” Castiel stated.  
“And you’re willingly handing her to us.”  
“I just want to be a free angel again, Zacharias. If the cost of that freedom is handing her over for punishment… Then so be it.”  
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Castiel wouldn’t… he would never… You closed your eyes as a wave of pain filled your head again.  
“You understand she’s going to die, Castiel.”  
There was a second of tense silence. “I understand.”

_…_

_Thunder._

_“NO! Cas, no! What are you doing!” you screamed, trying to untangle the cords on your wrists, but accomplishing nothing but cutting your own skin. “No, Cas! Why?” you cried, and there he was, standing in front of you. The tears made everything blurry, and the pain in your head in your chest didn’t let you focus on his face._

_“Y/N! I’m here, whatever you’re seeing, that’s not me! Y/N!” There were tears on his face and desperation in his voice._

_…_

_Lightning._  
_“My name, human, is Castiel, and I am an Angel of the Lord!” he raged, thunder and lightning filling the barn and making him look imposing and terrifying. His eyes lit with bright, white light and his wings spread across the walls._  
 _Tears filled your eyes again and pure terror crushed you, looking at the man you loved, so deeply menacing to you now._  
 _Zacharias made his way to you, filling his hand with light and an awful smirk in his lips, and you could barely see Castiel in the back, and though you thought you saw panic and desperation in his face for a small second, the next instant he was gone and you were left alone with the murderous angel._  
…

 _Thunder._  
_And at that exact moment, the doors to the barn opened and Sam and Dean rushed in, angel blades shining in their hands, and all the fire of their hearts in their eyes. A second later Zacharias was gone, and you rested in Sam’s arms as they made their way to the car._  
 _“She’s lost too much blood!” you hear Sam shouting to his brother “The cuts in her wrists and arms are too deep! We need to get her to a hospital.”_  
 _“You got it!”_

_“How’s Cas?”_

_“He’s seen worse… or maybe he hasn’t,” Dean quickly glancing at you, and hit the pedal._

 

You woke up covered in sweat again. Damn bunker. You could never tell what time it was.

That dream… was that what had happened? The images and memories confused you and made your head hurt, and your blood boil, and your lungs tighten.

Breathing heavily you stumbled to the door and opened it, falling outside of the bedroom.

“Cas!” you managed to shout out the hallway, and in a second the angel was running towards you looking alarmed “Don’t let me forget again! Don’t you dare let me forget again!”

You felt the warmth of his hands on your face and the last thing you saw were his cobalt blue eyes looking terrified.


End file.
